Headaches and Happen-stance

     This past week has been a full one. I got one of my headaches again on Tuesday, it continued into Wednesday and I asked Hubby to take me to the ER that afternoon. I got a shot in the backside, but that was about all they could do for me. Thursday I had a slight episode and I am sitting in my office today (Saturday) wondering just how much better I am. I think I could sleep more.. in Hubby's opinion that is the only thing that helps.
      Bubbles wasn't feeling well last night so I took her into the Dr.'s office this morning. Thank goodness Pediatricians now have office hours on Saturday! Bubbles has a virus that mimics the flu, but not really. So we are both on R&R! We will see who takes their's more seriously! Other than that she is doing well. Hubby has been having issues with his back again. At times it is hard for him to breathe. So I want to find whatever information I can on his condition and be his advocate.. I want him better as much as he does. Miniman and Goosie are doing well. After six months(give or take a few) Goosie finally has a tooth coming in! So exciting! Bubbles had a wonderful Birthday as we were down at my sister C's house over the long weekend, plus another small gathering on Wednesday. Bubbles is the proud new owner of a bicycle, and she aches to ride it everyday. It is almost as if I am torturing her by not letting her ride her bike from sun up to sun down.
      Goosie is getting bigger and I am noticing some of the things that scream puberty. So now when I am out on a looking escapade I am finding things that will assist me to help her with this transition. One thing I am not ready for is her cycle. Yes I know that is a few years off still, but if I can help her learn her body as it changes and let her know what it coming she will be better prepared. One thing I am also considering is the cost.. when Bubbles is old enough there will be three females cycling in a month. That can get expensive, so I am looking into alternatives. I want to try them out on me (and get comfortable), before I introduce them to the girls. I have heard of many alternatives to the disposable sanitary liners and am currently looking into making some of my own. Of course they will have a separate wash from the rest of the laundry, but over all if I know how to sew, and can make them when I need them, it is cost effective enough to give it a go. When I was growing up I used to wonder if my parents bought stock in *Alway's, then they could have made up some of the money they spent with nine females cycling. Now I am wondering why Mom didn't just make things for us and teach us how to use them. I found this website that has instructions and a pattern. I hope to make just everyday liners at first, then move on to the bigger stuff later.
     Let me say that I know there is a stigma that goes with non-disposable sanitary supplies. I am not a hippie, tree hugger or anything else like that. It's not gross if you handle it properly and use common sense. Wash your hands and all that jazz. I am just a Mom of two girls looking into the future costs of raising my family. Like it or not, things are getting more and more costly, and to cut out say $20 or so dollars a month per person can be well worth it. Not just for our finances, but also for our environment. I always wondered why it wasn't considered medical waste or a bio-hazard.. it simply was put in the same garbage as the left over Chinese food from two weeks ago you found in the fridge. I mean really. Other cultures and society basis have incorporated the female cycle into parts of everyday life. What do you think women in  2nd and 3rd world countries do. they use reusable cloths that are not as nice as the ones I plan on making. It is a natural process that has been around since the beginning of time. So why make it "dirty", it's not. It is simply a woman's body telling her that she is not going to be a mother soon, or a gauge to know when something is going on.
     Miniman is getting bigger and it looks like he will procure a new bicycle on his birthday. Wow, they grow up so fast. I am not ready. The school year is almost over and in the fall all three of my sweet babies will be in school.. all day. What am I going to do with myself?? I am planning on getting a job at the school so I have the same hours the kids do, or at least a job in the district. I have marketable skills and am willing to learn new ones as well as work hard. I enjoy the fact that the kids are all getting bigger and the family is growing up. I still can't help but miss the baby/ toddler days, I guess I will have to borrow someone's baby for a few hours to get a baby-fix. Not too much else is happening. My volunteer work is starting to snow ball, but that is a post for another time. Until next time Dear Readers.. be blessed!

Kindness, Pretty Faces and Blind Trust..

So working at the joy that is a fast food restaurant on the night sift is always interesting. Each night has its own dose of drama and hard as I may try.. I seem to get caught up in the mess of it. I will start with kindness. Kindness is not to be mistaken for being nice. If you are nice ultimately you are naive ( look it up if you don't believe me). However if you are kind, it is a choice despite the situation or because of the situation around you. Basically there is someone at work... oh the privileges of youth. She has no clue who I am, what I stand for, what I have been through or anything. Yet she makes it a point to joke around behind my back about my kindness. Yes, I use manners at work.. I think I may be the only person who says please and thank you to the guy running the grill or whomever is working the fry station when I need something. I also try to point out good things that others do. No I am not a manager.. I do try to let others know that I appreciate the job they are doing. So this one individual is making snide comments behind my back and laughing (literally) at me. I am certain  I haven't done anything to them except point out in general that the thing that irks me the most is when someone who is getting paid to do a job doesn't do it and leaves the work for others to do. I did not point any fingers.. and if someone was offended by my words it was their own conscience.One day she like so many others is going to grow up. She will realize that  she is not the center of the universe and life indeed is hard. So live it up now you privileged youth.. reality will set in..

Pretty faces these days are everywhere. Some people are hired for jobs because their physical appearance is appealing to so many. Others are looked down upon because they don't look like a cover model. Some (on both sides) struggle with self esteem issues, others on both are content with who they are on the outside because they understand the outside is superficial.. the inside is what counts. A beautiful woman is nice to look at, the same can be said for an attractive man. However, if you take those beautiful people and pair them with blunt, selfish personalities they no longer are as attractive as before. I heard it best said this way: " You can be as pretty as the good Lord made you, but if your words and attitude are ugly.. so are you" Just think about that one for a bit. You can spend all the money you have to get all the latest fashions to look your best.. but if all you are is a pretty face.. you may leave others wondering where the rest of it went.. or what is wrong with this picture. Just sayin'.

As I was cleaning up I couldn't help but overhear a conversation between two friends. One was consoling the other on her relationship. The latter had aparently been in a long distance long term relationship with someone she met only once. The young man promised to come and see her on his spring break, but instead went somewhere else with someone else..this left the poor girl in a bit of a state. Her friend I could tell wanted to talk some sense into her, but was not getting anywhere. So the nosey Momma in me stepped in. After hearing her say that the only way to have a long distance relationship was to have blind trust in the other person. I told her that from my experience a long distance relationship or any relationship is not about having blind trust, it is about having a knowing trust. With blind trust you leave yourself open to all kinds of disappointment and pain. With knowing trust on the other hand you take in to account all the things that you know about the person and the situation.. couple that with what you know about your relationship with them. Then make a decision. With knowing trust you are at least keeping your eyes open and making yourself aware of the situations.. with blind trust, well it is blind! She did thank me and let me know that I gave her some things to think about.
Well dear readers.. It is late or early, how ever you choose to look at it and I am now ready for sleep. Be Blessed.

Weather.. it changes in a moment

It is still winter.. and to me it is starting to feel a bit like Narnia, always winter. Christmas is over Spring has not yet sprung. For a short week we had warm weather. I was thinking of breaking out the city shorts and sandals.. it only got up into the 50's!  Bubbles couldn't help herself with all the melting snow. Just getting Miniman to preschool she was soaked up to her thighs! So after we got home I had her change. Time for something a bit warmer and a little more water proof. Bubbles was ready for puddle hopping! She was so excited! I couldn't help but take a picture. Then last night while on my way to work.. it started. I had hoped that my eyes were playing tricks on me, but alas.. it started snowing. There was a sheet of ice on the lawn when we got up this morning and shortly after noon it started up again. I know that keeping up with the driveway is better then dealing with it after all the snow and ice have piled up.. so it is time for me to get my work clothes on and get to shoveling. I hope it will be enough that the kids can go sledding in it and maybe break out the snow box again. For now we shall have to see. until next time dear readers be blessed!

Stuff and Other Stuff

I was going through pictures the other day, looking for ones to sum up the year. I realized that I haven't taken as many pictures this year as I have in the past. My trusty camera has not been at residence in my purse and when it has the batteries have been dead. Yes, I fully admit I still enjoy my point and click camera. There are still some things that I enjoy better then technology. Apparently everything I enjoy is out dated. My laptop, DS, Qwerty cell phone, MP3 player and yes I still listen to Cd's(much to Hubby's chagrin). I still enjoy writing in my paper journals as much if not more then here in my blog, and although with so many different knits to chose from I still enjoy knitting things on my own. Goosie is getting an American Girl doll for Christmas. I want to knit them matching sweaters or something. That is if my hands will allow me. My hands it seems are getting worse. I have both tendinitis and carpel tunnel, it's worse in my right hand then in my left. Go figure I am right handed. I enjoy the home arts as they are called, and hope that my children will enjoy them with me.
I can't help but but think of where I was a year ago today. My big-little family and I were celebrating with a friend and her family. It's strange sometimes how things change over the course of a year. There is such a distance between her and I now that it is admittedly painful. I am hurt and there is a part of me that wants more then anything to stop reaching out to make new friends. When I look back at all the friends I have had over the years.. I have grown close to some for a season; but when that season is over it becomes more of an acquaintance. I wish I knew how to break the cycle. I want to foster relationships with other women for longer then just a season.. any advise? Hubby was also hurt in the past by someone he considered a friend.. thus when it comes time for either of us to lean on someone, it is automatically the other. This is good and also bad. It is important for both of us to have friendship relationships outside of each other, so that we can grow as individuals.  Things can change allot over a year, and as individuals it is important that we learn to grow and change with them. In the coming year there will be more obstacles, trials and issues that will be dealt with. Hubby and I will celebrate our eighth wedding anniversary, our children's age's will change to 3,5 and 7. There is no telling what may lay ahead. I am thankful that I will walk the road with Hubby at my side and God carrying both of us at times.
Until next time dear readers.. I hope you are all blessed. And remember that scars are tougher then what was there to begin with.. so although you may get hurt be sure you don't allow yourself to harden so much that the love and friendship of other's cannot be felt.

Vision's of Autumn

It's that time of year again here in the North East. Leaves are changing colors, pumpkins grow ripe for the picking, corn mazes are all the rage. As I drive home today from picking up Miniman from Preschool I see the grey pregnant clouds quietly rolling in. Another fall of rain is probably in the mix for the day, if not tomorrow. My three mess makers are some-what quietly coloring in the dining room. Three pumpkins have already been carved, leaving only mine and Hubby's to be dismembered for the sake of a bit of time which we can let the kids hidden so well away inside ourselves out to play.  I can't resist looking outside at the marvel of colors that exploit themselves this time of the year. There are tree's that turn red as cranberries, others make the tree they are on for a time look as if it harbors lemons and limes. There are a few sparsely mixed throughout that are naked baring themselves ready for the coming cold. The evergreens are staggered about, in bushes and trees. Making others jealous of their year round splendor only to be scoffed or looked at with sorrow when a branch breaks under the weight of both nettles and snow.
I have come to appreciate orange. It's many different hues are the palate of Autumn. You can see it best in the pumpkins. The jack-o-lantern size have a range of their own. From burnt orange to school bus orange-yellow. Pie pumpkins which are mistakenly called "baby pumpkins" are really the only edible ones. They have a sweet taste to them and when roasted with just a pinch of sugar and salt they are truly a delight. There are some who go around looking for the most grotesque of pumpkins for their fall decorations. Sadly there are other's who will look at the many pumpkins in disbelief as they think they will never own one of their own. Some growers humbly let their small crops go for free on the side of the road while others charge a dollar or two a pound. The E.R. will have it's share of patients, if they haven't started seeing them already. There are thumbs that will need to be re-attached and gashes stitched back together. All in the name of fun, and some mayhem of course. But back to the splendor of the season. Children have decided by now what they want to dress-up as for Beggar's night.  But over all the grass is still mostly green, some trees are hesitant to release their leaves, and parents are once again looking for longer sleeves to add as layers under the shorter sleeves that were purchased for spring and summer. Well my dear readers.. the mess makers are no longer coloring so alas my time has come to a close for now. I will try to write again later! Be blessed!!

A Demise of Tea Cups

 This pale blue tea cup started it all. Hubby bought it for me just after he proposed. We were still living in Ocean Shores Wa. and after scouring antique shops I truly appreciated this one. Hubby bought it for me and I have enjoyed many cups of tea and coffee from it. I am thankful it survived the fall.

This tea cup I bought off of Ebay. As soon as I saw it I wanted it. It was as if the beautiful back lacquer was calling to me. The hand painted rose on the inner lip did me in. I have told my sister S that when she comes to visit, this will be her tea cup to use. S has joked for as long as I can recall that she is the black sheep of the family, what better then a black tea cup to celebrate!

 Wonder of wonder the yellow rose also survived. She too is one of my favorites ( they all are). This tea cup reminds me of my sister C. It's simple beauty could be over looked, but if you did you would miss the wonderful detail of it's moderate adornment. Hubby bought this one for me also in Wa., it is part of a mismatched set that was the beginnings of a tea cup collection.

This beauty was my Mother's Day gift this year. Yes, it was another Ebay find and I am sure the seller would have a heart attack to see what has become of the saucer. When it fell it split right down the middle. I can fix it of course. Thankfully the cup it's self was not damaged so with a little super glue, and a careful hand. This tea cup can return to my many uses of it. Just hold the plate fully!! This one reminds me of my sister N. She is so full of life and vibrant. I know it's colors are muted, but the scene is full of life and color. I will enjoy sharing a cup of tea with her one day.

This tea cup is also from the mismatched set. This one has small roses all over it and I have also enjoyed many cups of both tea and coffee from it. This cup reminds me of my sister I. Elegant and sophisticated, and in it's own way toned down enough to fit in with the other eccentric pairs in the set.  I has come for a visist and  I had forgotten in all the rush to sit and enjoy some tea. Tea you see is a good way to catch up on all the things you miss out on and although they may be tea cups you most certainly may have coffee in them instead! A little glue on the handle and it will be usable one more, the beverage of choice will have to be not too hot and not too cold, but just right!

The Forget-me-not's. Their beautiful blue has cheered me on many a dull day. This is V's cup. She visited me once and I forgot to get my set out and have a hot cup of tea with her. The tea cups after all are about the memories made with them not just the ones you make staring at them. V has been my best sister friend for as long as I can remember. I will have to repair the saucer, but the cup is once again thankfully undamaged. A little super glue and things will be better. This one also came from the mismatched tea set.

This tragic tea cup and saucer got the second worst of it. I am thinking of putting it in a shadow box. It now needs to be replaced. This one reminds me of Christmas. I realize that nothing on it screams tis the season. But to me, Christmas is comfort and being around those whom you love. They inspire you and challenge you all the while they nudge you on loving you regardless of the outcomes of your decisions. It's a safe place to land. This cup reminded me of my Mom. It was also part of the mismatched tea set.

Here is the most damaged. It will also go in a shadow box. the saucer is untouched. The cup is not replaceable. This was also one of the mismatched sets. This cup and saucer reminded me of my sister L. It isn't elaborate in decoration but it is beautiful and full of character. I haven't had a cup of tea with L and it seems I will have to now find her a new cup. Alas the first time she will see her cup is in the pretty picture pile now on my blog.

The only woman in my family who has yet to have a tea cup is G. She is difficult to find one for, although I am sure she would have a laugh at that. G is wonderful, strong, independent and has always looked a little different then the rest of us. But she also fits right in. Without G my big family wouldn't be complete and without a cup and saucer for her my set is not complete. So I will keep looking and I hope that by the time she comes for a visit I will have a special cup pairing for her also. Until next time dear readers! Be blessed!

What blessings there are for those who wait!

Now that I have a few moments.. there has been so much happening lately! Last week Hubby surprised me with a 2003 Trailblazer, with third row seating and the works. I am still trying to figure out if I am supposed to drive in it or play with all the buttons! I am super excited and still cannot believe it is mine. The Van is all paid off and Hubby now uses it as his daily driver so the Mustang can sit safely in the garage. The "Big Black Truck" as the kids have dubbed it, can fit our family and still have room for about 2 more. Which is crazy! There is so much space, I half way think I am driving a tank around. Hubby told me that since the accident I was involved in on the 19th of January, he had been thinking about the safety of our family and the hazards the Van posed. Thus I get a new ride! We were able to take the truck to NY to see his family and thankfully was able to get there on one tank of gas, with some left over!! When we used the Van, we had to fill it up at least once! Miniman I think is the most excited about the truck, he named it after all. I hope Hubby is joking when he says he is going to put a brush guard on it, so I can "barrel through" whatever I need to. I can just see me now, getting out of the truck in heels and a dress.. with other people looking at me like " How can that little woman handle that big truck??". I must say I am smiling just thinking about it.

Hubby had a wonderful birthday. Being able to spend a special day with the family is always a good thing. He and his brother share their birthday. Hubby jokingly says it is worst present he ever got! I know that they share a relationship few siblings do and it was good to see them try to out wrestle each other while knocking down furniture in their Dad's house. Okay, they didn't really knock anything down, but I swear they were going to!

I am hoping that spring is on the way, my organizing bug has taken a hold of me and I want to get things straightend out. There is so much to go through and at times it seems there is no time to do it all. I have made some progress, so that is something. I just need to finish the quilts I have had cut out for I admit way too long! The problem is that my sewing machine is broken, I kinda needed a new one anyway. Apparently I do more then a little sewing when I get the knack for it. Maybe I will get a new one! I am just hoping that it isn't my anniversary gift. Hubby called me today and asked me not to get upset with him. Apparently he purchased his anniversary gift from me today. He said that if I wanted to yell at him, that he would take it.. I asked him what he purchased and it was things I was planning on getting him anyway (he got a better deal then I would have). I asked him when I was going to hear something that he would get yelled at for... I wish I could have seen his face. Oh well, now I am just wondering what mine will be. I am excited!! This year Hubby is taking me to the Chocolate Festival!! It was on our anniversary last year and I went with my friend H, because he was working. This year.. he is taking me. Apparently he has a whole day planned for the two of us and so far I have no idea what I am going to wear!! That is right on the 7th of this month we will have been married for seven years.. and known each other for 8 1/2!! When asked how we met some people are still surprised that everything has worked out for us. I enjoy telling the story but will save that for later.

With so much going on as you can probably imagine my upkeep of the house is a little worse for wear. But I am hoping to amend that tomorrow, when the older two are in school. Bubbles is quite the little pillager. If there is anything she isn't supposed to get into.. she is in it! Goosie and Miniman are getting better with their house chores. They don't do much but the little bit that they are doing helps me out a whole lot! Their Chore Charts are filling up and I am so very proud of them! Bubbles has taken an interest again in potty training. She still wears a diaper, but if she wants to go in the toilet I help her. She doesn't want to use the training potty either. She wants to sit on the big potty. The trouble is that her butt is so little even the training seat is a little big! The smile of pride on her sweet face is so much that I can't do anything but help her!
Well, dear readers I have some house work calling my name..a shopping list to make and fill, oh and figure out something for dinner! So until next time, be a blessing to others and they in turn will be a blessing to you! Oh, and I will post pictures later of the Big Black Truck!

Recent Happenings

It has been a little while since my last post. I admit I have been busy. A week ago today I was in a car accident. I was sitting at a light (it had just turned green) and as the car in front of me pulled off, I was rear ended. I am okay, the van is still drivable and so far everything is alright. I am thankful to the guy who hit me.. I know that may sound strange to some of you, but really I am. You see I was not paying attention to anything behind me (he was) and didn't see what was coming. The guy who hit me saw the other driver coming and not slowing down, he then tried to leave enough room between his car and mine, as to not hit me. Thus the driver who hit me was pushed into me and bore the brunt of the whole thing. I was able to leave the scene unharmed, he was headed to the emergency room. So yes, I am thankful to the guy who hit me, his actions speak of integrity, it seems few have these days. We are looking into getting me a new van/SUV soon. I am just hoping it is not something so big that I look even more dwarfed!
Other then that I have been trying to keep the house up, and as many of you can imagine some days that task is easier then others.. especially when Hubby is home. Hubby home. I really like those two words together. My day is so much brighter when he is home. I enjoy every moment of it! In the past seven years ( our wedding anniversary is the first weekend in Feb.), I can say I have never liked to see him leave for work. I don't like being apart from him, when he is around my day is added to immensely. Not just because the work load is shared or that there is someone there helping me with the kids. It is something else, I can honestly say at times we are like a little old couple. Picture this: He is sitting in his recliner reading a book and I am sitting in mine doing the same. There is a quietness to the house as the kids are sleeping and just knowing we are there with each other is enough. I admit that the intimacy factor is not suffering a bit either. When Sport was here he said that being around Hubby and I was like being around two newly weds who hadn't figured out how to get out of the honeymoon suite. Sport also said that we were at least more discreet about it then others.
Hubby's birthday is this Thursday.. and we are going to celebrate with his family in N.Y. ! I am excited as it has been a little while since we have seen his family. It will be good to see them and celebrate with them as it is also his brothers birthday on Thursday. So off we go. I will try to post pictures and stuff later.
Well I have some packing and things to do.. so until next time dear readers.. Love much, Live fully and Forgive even when it is not asked for!

Adventures in Mothering.. with a POC van

Lately my Van has been giving me problems. Lets face it, the van has been around for 12 years. I don't know who had it first, or what they used it for, but when we picked it up it looked as if it had been used to rescue dogs. I admit that I chose the van. I really only concentrated on what was needed at the time. This was in 2007. Miniman was 16 months old I was newly pregnant with Bubbles and knew that we needed something that would fit three car seats and get us across the country as Hubby had just received orders that we were moving to Ohio. The van ran good, everything was working fine. So we signed the papers and off we went. Now almost three years later and just a few months before it is paid off, the van is looking more like a can.
I posted earlier that the A/C doesn't work in the back and neither does the heat. There is a wire problem and the battery has been replaced almost every six months. And when it rains the smell of wet dog permeates.. although I have done everything I can think of to get rid of the smell. I am sure the next person who gets the van will use it as a work truck. You know the trucks that you really don't care how they look or what all works in the back so long as the front gets heated/cooled and it runs well. I sadly think that is the future of my minivan.
In the last week I have had more issues with the van. Last Wednesday Hubby went out to warm u the van for me as it was frigidly cold out and I needed to get Miniman to school. When Hubby closed the sliding door, the glass shattered. That's right it shattered. All the dark pieces on the snow covered ground looked like some kind of explosive aftermath. Hubby was fine and uninjured..but then there was the call to the Insurance. The deductible to pay and glass service to schedule. I was able to call my friend N and she thankfully helped me get Miniman off to school and then pick him up a little later. Everything was scheduled and taken care of by the time Hubby got home from work that night. Then comes this week. There is new glass in the sliding door.. but now the battery has decided to die. Once again it is when I need to get Miniman to school. Hubby was able to give the van a jump from his car, and after that I was good the rest of the day. Then comes this morning. Hubby told me to park the van in the garage hoping that if it not left out to the weather the battery might keep it's charge. He checked it this morning as I we getting the kids ready and the van started just fine ( I even heard it). He let me know that the van started and then he was out the door for work. About twenty minutes later it was time for me to get the kids off to school. The van wouldn't start. I couldn't find the jump pack in the garage (you know the one that will jump your car if there isn't anyone around to help you). I waited a bit and then called Hubby at work. I let him know that the van wasn't starting and that I might need him to come home. After hanging up with him I decided to see if I could charge the battery. I have a battery charger in the garage, but the outlets are all at the front of the garage by the door. I then put the van in reverse, and pushed yes pushed the van it's length and was able to get it into position for one of the outlets. I then once again called my friend N to see if she could help me get the kids to school. After N had her three on the bus she came over to help me out. By the time she got there I had been able to charge the battery up enough to get it to start. N took Goosie to school and I took Miniman. All of this happened before 8:45am. What a way to start the morning. The heat no longer works in the back of the van, the window has been replaced, but the rear view mirror fell off this morning. I am ready for a new vehicle! The van has been very useful and has taken us many places. Hubby think's he will be coming down with orders soon (I say think's because nothing is in writing yet) so we will once again be moving. The van will be paid off in March or April I would have to look at the paperwork to see when. As soon as we are able to get the title.. we are going to trade in. It has been a good van. It took us from Idaho to Ohio, to New York and South Carolina. It has been reliable..but I am ready for something newer without so many issues. Hubby is ready for me to have a new van too!
On another note Hubby had a dream the other night and when he told me about it the conversation went something like this:
Hubby~ I had a dream and I don't think you are going to like it.
Me~ What was the dream (my interest was piqued as Hubby doesn't usually remember his dreams)
Hubby~ I dreamed we had another baby and that your boobs got so big you needed a second breast reduction.
Me~ yeah, that was a bad dream. I thought we agreed that if we did have another baby we would bottle feed instead of breast because I already had the surgery.
Hubby~ So that doesn't scare you?
Me~ No, it doesn't.. if you told me that I was Pregnant with twins THAT would scare me!


To follow another rabbit hole.. we are starting to reinforce manners with the kids. Miniman used to say "I farted" and then laugh uncontrollably. Now he says excuse me. I didn't know how much it had sunk in until he was sleeping and right after he farted in his sleep he said excuse me! I had to walk out of the room!!

Be blessed dear readers and until I write again next time, remember that in life the only person you can change is yourself and if you don't feel like changing.. don't complain that things never change!

A New Van for Me??

I need a new van. Not a brand new one, but certainly a newer one then I currently have. Don't get me wrong 1998 was a good year. I just need something a little newer then that.
My current van we bought two years ago, when we lived in Sandpoint, before I had even thought of this blog. Now two and a half years later we are a few months from it being paid off and you guessed it, things are not working. The brake lights don't work when you have the exterior lights on (not good for driving at night), the vent system no longer works in the back (that means the kids are not getting heated/cooled unless I freeze/bake myself and the front passenger). The gas mileage is still good, it runs well, the only other down side is that it smells like wet dog when it rains, there is no storage in the rear, the carpets are stained beyond recognition and at times the doors tend to lock all by themselves when I already have the kids buckled in, the motor running and I am just walking around to the drivers side. Yes, I think it is time.
As our family has grown the cars I have driven have changed. When I was single I drove a 1999 Sunfire sedan, then after I moved to Washington to be with Hubby I drove a 1995 Chevy Tracker, then there was the 2004 Pontiac Grandam, and currently the 1998 Mercury Villager.
The Sunfire I returned to the dealership, the Tracker we sold to a friend, the Grandam Hubby drove for a bit before using it as a trade-in for his mustang, and we got the Villager because lets face it three car seats cannot fit in a Grandam. I picked out the Villager. Yes, it was me. We needed something that was cheap, could fit our growing family and safely get us to the East Coast. Villager has done that. But now I feel it is time for something a little newer. I don't want the newest van on the block. Just one with seating for 6 plus the driver, stow and go seats or ones I can just remove, dual sliding doors, and a little storage room in the back for a little more then 4 bags of groceries. Oh and I would like it to be a 2002 model at least so that I can safely tether the car seats into the van.
We will see what happens. I realize that most of you are thinking that the Villager is paid off in a matter of months so why not hold onto it until it falls apart. Well, I was thinking that we would have it longer then 2 1/2 years but it wasn't the best investment. The family needs something more reliable and safer. I know I know things are rough all around. But I am not wanting anything brand new, just new to me. And no I don't think that is asking too much.

Lately There Have Been Thoughts In My Head (ok, that is werid, but I am feeling it tonight)

I am home from a purse party at my friend K's house, my other friend K was there also and it was a good visit. We laughed at a few things caught up with the happenings of our children, and they almost have me convinced to share a little more here on my little spot in the Internet.. we will see ladies we will see.
There is something I am proud of. My children and my Hubby! All three of my blessings are in their beds and Hubby was the one to put them there! This is HUGE!!!! I was talking to my Mom today (yes, she is home safely with her other half namely my Dad) and said that I put on my "Big Girl Panties" years ago and just learned to deal with things as they come. Now that I am a parent I need to put on my "Momma Panties" and step into the role I must admit that I have been skirting for sometime. There is a new found firmness in my mothering role, and not just from my new smaller boobs ;-) ! There is a quiet firmness I remember from my childhood when it comes to Mom. In my younger years I must admit I was intimidated by her and now that I have three growing children of my own I am in awe of the wonderful woman I have for a Mom.
I can put my foot down a little firmer now and although my children are testing me (lets face it I knew they would), I can honestly say that I am firmer then I was. They know that I will follow through with my threats. Hubby and I have both become more consistent in our parenting. The kids aren't too sure about it, but I am sure they will get used to it.

On a different note, there are many things outside of my house on the hill bubble that I like to stay blissfully unaware of (yes K I will tell the story). My van's battery died yesterday at my friend H's house. I had gone there to get the car seats checked and one of them fixed. Well, after the car seats were corrected, Bubbles happily strapped in, Mom ready in the passenger seat, I turn the key and nothing. Not even a click!! I was annoyed!! Here I was I had to pick Miniman up from preschool, and be home in time for Goosie to get off the bus. I made all the phone calls I needed to, and Hubby ended up picking up kids from their schools. While at H's she was able to contact her neighbor. I thought it a little strange when she decided to call her, when the house was less the 50 yards away. I asked H about it and she let me know that her neighbors were the swinging type and not the kind at the play ground!! Apparently the "friend" was over and I will let you take it from there. H and I discussed the arrangement her neighbor has and both of us had disgusted shivers followed by UGH UGH UGH!!!! I personally could not imagine that!!! Anyway, the "friend" hooked my van up to his car and commenced to trying to jump the battery for about 15 minutes. I would try off and on to see if this was working, but to no avail. H ended up calling her Hubby C and we women folk went inside her house to see about some lunch for ourselves, 2 toddlers, 2 children and 2 husbands. After a bit C comes in the door and announces that if H wanted him home for lunch she didn't have to make up a story to get him there (he was being sarcastic). It turns out that there was nothing wrong with the battery! There was a loose wire!! C checked everything before trying to replace the battery with an extra one he had. Needless to say it was an interesting morning!

I know that there was more discussed, and I must admit that I am please I have readers! At times I think I am just writing to myself. Honestly having a conversation with yourself is the first sign of insanity right?? Oh wait that was rhetorical! Well then! It is after 10pm and I have been up since about 5am so this tired lady is going to curl up on the couch and watch Twilight with her Hubby ( it will be mostly the back of my eye lids of course). I think I may write about the interesting month we have had with school in session, we will see. Until next time dear readers.. sleep well, love like there is no tomorrow and forgive like there are no yesterdays!

Internal Dialogue and Cleaning

The weekend is over and as it is Monday my internal dialogue has started up again. While Hubby is home I try to take a break from the house cleaning and other demands so that I can just spend time with him and the kids. Monday comes around and I find myself trying to clean up after the weekend. This is how things have been going in my house since Goosie joined our family and with the addition of each child, the house understandably has gotten a little messier, if only for the weekend.
Before we had children, I prided myself in having the house clean and dinner ready when Hubby came home from work. This has gotten harder, and my internal dialogue has not changed. I still want to have everything as ready as possible when he gets home from work. I sometimes spend my entire day cleaning up the house..as for the entire day it gets messy. It is almost like the mess follows the kids..hmm! Anyway, when Goosie joined our family Hubby told me that the kids come before the house and that if he comes home and the house is a mess, it is fine so long as the kids are taken care of.
So now the dialogue struggle. "The house needs to be clean and dinner ready, no the kids need to be taken care of first." "Don't worry about how much clean up there is, just make sure the kids have a good time today. " These are the things that go through my mind on an almost daily basis, let me be honest sometimes it's hourly.
Do I think I have good kids, yes! Do I think my house cleaning can wait, sometimes. Do I think that my relationship with my kids is suffering because of all the things I think I need to get done, yes.
Hubby told me that he woke up at 0500 with the same thoughts on his mind. His dialogue goes something like this. " I am tired from work, I just want to watch this show." or " The kids are just trying to get attention, I can do this later, but I really want some time just to myself."

Yes, there was a time when after Hubby got home from work he and I had carved out alone time. He would have his as soon as he got home, it usually lasted about an hour and he didn't have to worry about doing anything with the kids. After he had his alone time I would take mine. I would have an hour to do what I wanted. In theory this works. And it is a great idea. However I have learned that some idea's don't mesh with reality.

Goosie, Miniman and Bubbles are great kids. They really do listen and are very helpful. There are times when things get out of hand and I know it is those times when I should be paying more attention to all the animated things in my life instead of all the inanimate.

Admitting there is a problem is the first step. Changing internal dialogue is easier said then done, but I am going to. My children are the most important people in my life aside from Hubby and I have been saying that a clean house is a sign of a wasted life.. I have been wasting mine.. but starting today I am going to change. If that means that my house is a mess, so be it.. my family is more important. After all whenever I am gone I would rather people say that "she was a good wife, mom and friend" more then "yeah, her house was always clean." What really matters is not how clean or perfect my house is, it is more that my family knows how valued they are to me and that they both know and feel loved.

Old Friends Made New

When I was younger my Mom took me to the toy store. It was a rare thing, but I remember it as clearly as I can. My younger sister V picked out Mandy and I picked out Mikey. What he looked like all those years ago you can see to the left. I played with Mikey for hours. Of course Mikey and Mandy were not as popular as My Buddy and Kid Sister. But Mikey was my favorite for the longest time. I still have him. But now Miniman plays with him. It happened yesterday. Goosie and Bubbles both have babies (they are girls after all). Miniman had one of Goosie's babies and tried to claim it as his. Goosie of course wanted nothing to do with sharing her babies with her brother. Miniman does have a boy Cabbage Patch doll, but he has never really showed an interest in it. I remembered Mikey. A few months ago I bought a new Mikey and just put him away. Miniman after meeting his new little friend, was playing with him. Miniman would set up his cars and Mikey would " make them crash". Needless to say Miniman has a new friend.

Now there are two Mikey's and Miniman takes care of both of them. All three of them play together. It is a wonderful thing. And nice to know that something that I played with when I was younger, is bringing so much joy to my son. I wasn't sure if there was anything from my youth other then books that he would be interested in.

Here are the twin boys. Miniman and Goosie took their jackets off, sometimes I have to look for their shoes and my Mom is going to help me make pj's for them, Miniman likes to make them go down for a nap too! He is so sweet! I hope that this wonderful little guy that my Miniman is now will not change much as he gets older. Well, enough for this morning. I have some things to get done.

I wrote it at the Airport...last night

I was able to go to a conference this past weekend. I knew that I would be learning more about my position as a volunteer and did not realize that I would also learn so much about myself. There were good points and bad, but over all it was good. I was able to have some time to myself (which is a rarity) and slept in a bed much too big for only one person ( I share a king size with 4 other bodies at home so one to myself was an adjustment).
I was able to go to the Mall of America. That in it’s self was exciting and I am thankful that I was able to go (now to convince Hubby to go there for a vacation). I was able to see Sponge Bob’s house, a chapel in a mall, an aquarium you could dine in, and so very much more. I was also able to make connections with other people and help answer questions about a new program that was recently released. It was a wonderful weekend, but I am hesitant to do it again. Mostly because I MISS my family.
I am proud of myself. I was able to get through it and now am once again sitting at the airport waiting for a flight, but this time I get to go home.
The flights have been delayed more then they have been bad, lets face it a bad flight is one that doesn’t make it to the final destination right? I did not take a camera with me, something that I will make sure I do next time. So I will have to wait until a new connection is able to post some and then I will share.
My battery is almost out and I am about to board my plane, so in honor of Walter Cronkite….
And that’s the way it is. Until next time dear readers.. be blessed!

My Yard and Other Things

So while my Dad is here we have been able to do a heck of a lot of yard work. This area(at the front of the house near the living room) used to have a dead Japanese cherry tree in it (the center of the circle). Dad was able to up root it, it was pot bound when they planted it so there was almost no chance of it living for longer then it did, it actually died over the winter. So in it's place I put a lilac tree, there is a hydrangea to the right of it, then some day lilies surrounding the boarder of the flower bed. It took about two and a half, three days and about $65.00 from start to finish, but I think it was worth it. As the plants mature they will fill in the space and it will be both fragrant and green. I made sure to get perennials so I only have to do the planting once.

Here is the other side of the front yard, by the garage. When we moved in there was a garbage pile here (grass clippings, tree limbs etc.). I wanted to do something with it but wasn't sure. Dad once again said that he didn't mind helping me. Be careful what you say people, I will put you to work. I had weeded the area before going to SC, but by the time I got back the weeds were as tall as I am (4ft at least) and the dandelions alone were as big as cabbages. So once again the weeding commenced and then there was the digging planting, the laying out of weed barrier fabric and a few bags of mulch. We only worked in the morning, so the kids were able to get outside and play while we worked. Bubbles didn't like being restrained to one area so on the last day of work we let her run loose (boy was she fun to keep up with). It cost me $55.00 for all the plants and supplies to get this side of the yard done. Once again all of these are perennials so the planting is only done once. The four trees in the back are dwarf spruces so they should get to be about 5 or 6 feet tall. Then there are the lilies and other flowers around a shrub that I transplanted. Again many of these plants should fill in the space as they mature and it will be both green and fragrant.

In this area of the yard a Golden Finch decided to make her nest in one of the shrubs that were already there. I had wanted to prune the shrubs so that they would look better, but didn't want to disturb the momma and her babies. I was able to take a picture of them. I know you can really only see one baby bird in the very center, but there are three of them in there. Now to keep the plants watered and the kids away so these little guys can get big and we can watch them at one of the man bird feeders I have placed around the yard.

All in all it has been a very fulfilling weekend. Dad is here for a few more days so we will be able to visit a bit in the air conditioning.. instead of the morning sun. Hubby had a rough weekend. It was one really long headache. Only yesterday he was starting to feel a little better. He went in for a CT scan this morning and we should be able to start ruling things out soon. I just want to know what is going on. So please keep him in your prayers.
The kids and I are glad to be home and with all the things that have been going on lately we have been kept busy. Speaking of keeping busy, I will be taking a trip alone to Minneapolis next weekend for training with the FRG. It will be Hubby's first weekend totally alone with the kids as I cannot take any of them with me. I will be flying out on Friday and back in on Sunday. Hubby voiced his concern about Bubbles and her sleeping/nursing habits. I replied that we are weaning her from breastfeeding and if/when I go back to work at night I won't be able to just rush home whenever she wants to nurse herself back to sleep. The older two are sleeping in their beds for the most part and I am hopeful that it will continue even after I am away for a weekend.

Well enough for now dear readers. I have some house cleaning to get done and I think the kids are getting antsy again. Be blessed until next time!

Just some thoughts

I am sitting here at my new little office space. Looking out the window at the house next door that is up for sale. The Goosie is running around the house in her new shoes. Miniman's timer has just gone off, so he is once again free from time out. Potty training is going as well as it can be. He loves his marshmallows so that is at least something. Bubbles is walking around the house and her gait reminds me of the old western movies, you know the ones with the cowboys who just got off their horse. I keep looking at her half expecting her to say " well how ya doin pilgrim?". But she just smiles and shows me the four square teeth in her little mouth.
In all the visiting we did last month, one of the things I kept hearing was how much my daughters are like me. Goosie looks like me, and Bubbles acts like me... oh boy am I in for it! Both of them are just great! Hubby and I were watching TV last night and Bubbles was not interested in going to sleep. All she wanted to do was play. Miniman had fallen asleep already and Goosie of course was supposed to be settling down. Alas, it didn't happen. Goosie was holding on to Bubbles hands and walking her around the house. At times they would both fall down with peels of laughter. I couldn't help but look over at Hubby and thank him for having children with me.
I feel so entirely blessed. My Dad is coming to visit tomorrow and I will be making a feast! I am super excited! Homemade Lasagna, Garlic Bread and I wish they were fresh from the garden green beans, but my little garden hasn't produced enough yet. I am planning on making a homemade cherry pie. I have heard that it has been a while since he has had one. The bonus is that I have a dentist appointment in the morning. What a way to start out the long weekend. Well, the kids are in need of me once again so I must cease and assist. I will write more sometime dear readers, until then.. be blessed!

Jonas Brothers and Beyoncee??

I am not all that into the music scene lately, but as I was trolling the Internet I came across a video. As soon as the music started Hubby exclaimed " I hate that song" I of course asked for and explanation, so that is what he gave me. He told me that Beyoncee says the same thing over and over, he understands that she is single and that no one likes her, but to write an annoying song about it is different. I watched both video's and I would have to say that the Jonas brother did a really good tuck job (cause you can't see a thing in his leotard) and that I would much rather watch him make a fool of himself you can check it out by following this link.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86CBhQL5pVc&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fnew%2Emusic%2Eyahoo%2Ecom%2Fblogs%2Fvideogaga%2F19556%2Fall%2Dthe%2Dsingle%2Dtweens%2Dall%2Dthe%2Dsingle%2Dtweens%2Djoe%2Djonas%2Dputs%2Da%2Dring%2Don%2Dit%2F&feature=player_embedded
The Beyoncee video I saw was on Yahoo, and if you would like to read that article.. follow this link.. if you really want to see them both in the same spot that is..

http://new.music.yahoo.com/blogs/videogaga/19556/all-the-single-tweens-all-the-single-tweens-joe-jonas-puts-a-ring-on-it/

A Little Thought

Over the years I have had dreams that included people from my past. They are usually along the lines of wondering what they are doing now and if they are happy. I don't have the guts to call any of the phone numbers buried somewhere in my mind, so when I wake up I say a prayer for them. I figure it is something telling me that they need a little extra prayer today. My ex J.A. was in my prayers this morning. More specifically his parents and younger sister. I pray they are all well and he and his wife are well also. I just needed to get it out of my head so I can concentrate on all there is to do today.
Hubby finally took the demo CD to work with him so he can learn the song we are to sing together this weekend. I am excited and already exhausted. Excited because I will see my family save my sister G., and exhausted because I have an idea of all the things that are in store for my little big family. Today I must finish cleaning the house. Tomorrow I need to pack and we leave Thursday in the late afternoon.
There is a 12 hour drive ahead of us to my parents place. Then we go on to SC and stay at my sister C's house until it is time to head home again. I am looking forward to the trip and hope that my kids will understand the blessing that it is, to be able to see family is a wonderful blessing. We have lived away from them for so long and there are so many things I have missed.. Hubby reminds me that we have only 4 more years until he retires and we are down there for good. I have a peace about everything and am relieved that I do. Well, enough from me today.. there is so much I need to get done today and I should get started. Until next time dear readers, be blessed!

What has been happening..

We are in the final count down to our big family trip. I am excited, but stressed. I have also been getting more headaches then usual. They are no fun! I have so very much to do and it seems that time runs out on me more often then not.
Hubby won tickets to a NASCAR race yesterday, it was in Dover, PA so he left Saturday afternoon and didn't return until around 5 this morning. I know he is dog tired. I have had a headache since yesterday and believe me when I tell you that it is no fun! Hubby isn't on leave until Wednesday and there is still so much to do. I am trying to get the laundry done and all the things put away that I can. I really enjoy coming home to a clean house after we have been out of town for a while. My friend H is once again going to house sit for us, I just hope that the chocolate order from the party Saturday comes before it is time for us to leave. The kids are thankfully not as crazy today as they were yesterday, I just want to go to sleep.
Hubby asked me the other day when I would be able to start work. I told him that I didn't want to start until after I was mostly finished with my course work, so it would be around August/September time frame. He then exclaimed that he didn't realize it was going to take that long. Now I am concerned I have been getting more headaches lately band I don't want this to be the norm. So if going back to work means more headaches I don't know if I want to do it. On the other hand if I can get in to see the neurologist and hopefully get this taken care of I will go back to work no problem!
My course work is going well. I have taken three quizzes and passed all three. I am now preparing for my next quiz. I am not sure how quickly others take the course but I would like to take a quiz a week, so I hopefully get through the course on time. I think that if I go to work part time it will be a little easier. I just don't want to get too many things going on at once. I do a lot of work now that I get paid for in hugs and kisses, but those don't help pay the bills.
We are less then a week away from my parents vow renewal ceremony, and Miniman's birthday. Yes, it is the same day. My birthday is the following weekend, and I reminded Hubby that my gift is spending time with my family on my birthday. I think he wants something more, but I really don't need it. He is so thoughtful, I am sure he is going to try to get me something else, I just don't know how to tell him that he really doesn't have to. Well, enough for now.. I need to find a new dentist. I will type more later and after the visit with the family I will post pictures! Blessings to you all my faithful readers!

Work Work Work

I know that the economy is bad. I see it everywhere. For Sometime Hubby and I have been living a little beyond our means. Because of mismanagement with money before we met, neither one of us is grounded. We live pay check to pay check and it is stressful. I started a home course and am on my way to being a pharmacy tech. . I am excited. Hubby and I were talking last night about how this is pretty big, not just for me but for us. I have talked to my family and the thing I hear most is that my children are going to suffer when I go back to work. That there will be a strain on mine and Hubby's relationship and that the dynamic will change.
I admit that I am nervous. Going beck to work is a little daunting. I told Hubby last night that this is the biggest thing I have ever done. His response was: "No it's not, you've had three kids!". That did help put things into perspective.
Hubby has confidence in me and is very supportive, I am excited and truth be told a little numb. I am not sure where this road is going to take my little family, but I am sure we will all be okay. My sisters have almost all gone back to work and I feel blessed that I have been able to stay home with my children for this long.
I started my course work this morning and will go and pick up an application tomorrow for a 2nd shift position. Hubby will be off of work at 5 everyday, so we just need to find someone for a few hours on the days I have to work. I am confidant that we will all adjust. I will still be with the kids during the day, and then in the late afternoon/early evening I will be going to work. I won't be home again until after they are in bed, but I will be with them for most of the day. Hubby will have them when he gets off of work and I am actively looking for someone for the few hours they may be needed on the days I work.
I know that this is big for our family. It's big for me and I need support right now. I have been hearing negatives mixed in with positives and I am already weary of them. So please if you have anything negative to day about me going back to work, keep it to yourself. I am not in anyway saying that Hubby is not a good provider. He is a wonderful provider, but he needs help and as his wife, I am also his help mate. Going back to work is not something that he is making me do, it is something I want to do and I am blessed that he supports me in it. I will let you all know how things go!