A Gentle Calling

     Back in January I started using the Amazon Music application on my phone; so that I could listen to music that I could be encouraged by as I went throughout my workday. For about 6 weeks without fail one song would come on and set the tone for my day. It did not seem to matter what time I started the music, the same song would come on. Quite simply I needed it to prepare me. I just had not realized it yet. You will find the song below and I hope Dear Readers that you will be blessed:

     I recently had the great pleasure of attending a women's conference. I can honestly say that I wondered why it took me so long to go to one. I can't remember the last time I attended a christian women's conference. At the end I was challenged, encouraged and humbled. It was a wonderful weekend. The Monday after the conference I was back at work and another song started being the first one. In all honesty I did not like the song. I didn't think that it really applied to me. It spoke of such an honest and simple intimacy I didn't know what to make of it. I would skip over it and wait for the next song to start or just switch music players. Boy, was I hard headed. It has taken me a bit but I heard the song again today. This time I didn't turn the dial (or app). I listened, and in my listening I struggled. There was imagery there I couldn't grasp. When I thought about the words to the chorus, all I could think about was Hubby. The security and acceptance I feel in his embrace. I was still uncomfortable with the song, but I listened. Earlier this evening I shared my feelings with an insightful woman. She challenged me to tell Heavenly Father about my confusion and to ask him for clarity. So on my way home, I did. Sure enough the song came on again:

Instead thinking of my wonderful Hubby. I had memories flood my minds eye. Of Goosie being so enthralled  with her Daddy that she didn't want to be without him. If he was reading a book, she was in his lap asking about the words. If he had a drink and she was given a sip of it; oh it was wonderful. Each of the children have craved time with both Hubby and I. These moments, that I can't always remember came pouring in. I could see Miniman dressing like his Daddy, wanting to have child size things of Daddy's. I saw Bubbles quieting and resting her blonde head on her Daddy's chest, just to listen to his heart and hear him breathe. That was so calming to her. During all of this I cried. I cried tears of thankfulness, tears of regret. There is so very much that I do not remember. When Goosie was just a tiny thing, I was envious of her. I grew out of that. So in the midst of my brokenness another song came on the radio and all I could do was worship. 

So there it is Dear Readers, This is where I am. While I can't be sure of anything, one thing I can count on is that I have a Good Good Father  and he loves me. I am called to a Deeper Relationship with him. His love is overwhelming and am in awe that He never gets tired of me, He doesn't loose interest in me and he will always be there. Truly Heavenly Father, who am I that you would love me so? Good night Dear Readers, be blessed. 

Five Reflections

     It is Sunday night and I am late in both of my posts. I have decided to start with this one and will post the Bible Reading next (maybe tomorrow). Oh, how short but wide life is. Days can escape from your memory with the business of life. So bear with me Dear Reader and I pray that in the end you will be encouraged and hopefully challenged.

     One: I have my own office at work. I am responsible for so much now. I guess those that have the authority at work have seen something in my ethic or diligence that they wanted to reward with more responsibility. I am grateful, humbled and a bit overwhelmed.  There is much work to do and I will do my best. One of my coworkers asked me how I felt about the new position; since it means that I will be held accountable for much and more in the office, including a new manager to report to. My response was simply :" I don't work for J, for T or for C. I don't even work for the county (although they send me a check); I work for the Lord. In the end it is Him I will answer to and not anyone else. So they can put me in whatever job they want. I will not change any part of how I work. Because it is not for them, it is not for a paycheck (although those are nice), I work for the Lord. Colossians 3:17 states: "And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father though him." ESV Crossway 2011 edition. In that alone I find assurance and job security.

     Two: I have been challenged to be still. I recently had the privilege of hearing a story. It is not my story, but I was blessed by it and hope that I remember enough of it to share with you.

Growing up my dad who was a private man, would sit in his recliner in the living room, reading a book or the newspaper.

As I would finish my chores on the way up to my room I would hear him tapping on the side of his chair.

His tapping would call to me though out my childhood and when I was younger I eagerly answered. Dad would sit and talk to me, at times just listen. As if all the things in my day and on my mind were the most important things to him. 

As I got older in my teenage years I found excuses to not respond to the quiet tapping. 

Although I did not respond, Dad was consistent. There was never a time I passed by him sitting in that chair that I did not hear his quiet call. 

Time passed and I got married and moved away. 

Then I received a call from Mom, Dad was sick and they were sure he would not last very long. 

My husband and I drove up to see them. We stayed a while talking and catching up on things. Then as we were about to leave, I heard Dad tapping. 

I looked at my husband and said: " I need to be here a little longer"

I turned and climbed up on the bed with Dad and just sat there with him. We held each other and spoke softly. After sometime, my husband and I left. 

Very early the next day Mom called. Dad passed. My heart was heavy, but I was thankful that I answered his quiet call one last time. 

There have been times since then, that I have looked back with regret on all those times Dad called me, yet I did not answer.

As a parent I believe I am called to work myself out of a job. To be a stepping stone for my children. I don't want them to be like me I want them to be better. When I heard the story above I was challenged. Do I quietly call my children to come so I can listen? When they do want to share with me, do I stop and give them all my attention so that they can see their value reflected in my treatment of them? Do my children know that I value them, I cherish them and how very very much they are loved? I have been challenged to be still, not just for myself, and for my children. But to be still before Heavenly Father. To sit at his feet and listen, to read his word and learn. If I am not still, then I am too busy, too distracted and overwhelmed. If I am still I will find peace, joy, hope, patience and I will be able to love others better. I challenge you as well, to be still.

     Three: Really, I am only on 3?? Haha! Well, My three blessings. How much and how fast they are growing. All three are excelling in school and I am so very excited to see where they will go in life. Goosie is really into manga and comics. So I picked her up a new Bible . She decided to take it to school with her and now I almost don't see her without it. I asked her why she liked it, to which she replied: " I don't loose my place and I really enjoy reading it." SCORE for mom!! Miniman has decided that he wants to be an Eagle Scout. I know that he can do it. He has such drive and determination. I am so proud of him! Bittybit, well she is my bittybit! Sometimes I can finish her sentences before she does. I am praying hard for her, she is more like me then I want to admit. But oh the joy she brings. 

     Four: This week is Spring Break for my College boyfriend (Hubby)! I am looking forward to a few lunch dates this week and am hopeful that he will be able to get ahead on his assignments as well as relax. Hubby's midterms were last week and the worst grade he received was a B+. What a change his life has taken. I am so honored and privileged to share this life with him. I am so excited to see where Heavenly Father is going to take him!

     Five:  Just some encouragement for you:

" For I am persuaded, that neither death nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39 KJV Reference Bible Zondervan 1964 edition.

Until next time Dear Readers : " May the Lord Bless you and keep you. May His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace"  Numbers 6:24-26 ESV crossway 2011 edition.