Brandywine Falls

My sister V and her Boyfriend B were able to come to visit last weekend. Hubby and I played hooky from church and just spent time with them. It was wonderful to see V and meet B. It had been 2 years since I had seen her last and my relationship with V was one of the reasons I wanted Goosie to have a sister. I wanted Goosie to experience what V and I share and what I am starting to share with my other sisters. V and B mostly just hung around the house with me. They arrived early Saturday morning. Then on Sunday we went to Brandywine Falls. It was so wonderful to have them here. I am so glad that Amelia got to meet one of her Aunts and that they became so enamored with each other from the start. I can hardly wait until my birthday when we are headed down to SC for a visit. V and B are considering another visit. I told them that next time we would go to Amish country and maybe go to the Drive in Theater again. We shall have to see. Until next time my dear readers.. blessings and peace to you.

Kindergarten, Weaning and Potty Training...Fireproof?

So I am weaning Bubbles and let me tell you she is not a happy camper! She wants to nurse and there is almost nothing I can do to make her stop crying unless I give in. I don't want to give in. I want her to wean.. but she and I want different things.
I started out the day thinking that I would start really putting forth an effort to potty train Miniman. I decided to go with the long t-shirt no underwear approach.. it didn't work. I even had him clean up his own mess and that still had no bearing on him. So of course by this afternoon I had given in and he is in diapers. I don't want him to be, but it is almost a struggle to get him to stay clean. When he is in training pants (not pull ups) it doesn't bother him to walk around soiled. Goosie hated it and she was potty trained in no time. Miniman is taking longer. Part of me says that when he is ready he will let me know. But he will be three in June.. I am past ready! Goosie was trained by now and I feel like a failure to my little guy because I haven't pushed the issue. So I called it quits for today but I am going to try again tomorrow.
My sister V is coming to visit this weekend. I wish it were sooner in the month, the last week of the month is almost always the hardest as we are the most strapped financially. Hubby likes to have cash on hand, but then his amount is different then mine. I think we are doing great if we make it to the 3rd week of the month and we haven't run out of anything. He wants to go all the way to the 1st of the next month and I can't say I don't disagree with him. I just have to figure out a better system. With V coming I have been working to keep the house picked up and I must say that I am proud that I have kept things up for this long! I still need to change the sheets on the guest bed from when my cousin J and his wife were here. But other then that we are ready!
Hubby has had to work later then he is supposed to lately. There is a new regulation that came out that says he is to be off of work and headed home by 1700 (5p) as long as there is no work holding him there. But so far all this week something has been holding him there and if it is not one thing it is another. I know he doesn't like staying at work until after the kids are in bed, but sometimes it can't be helped.
I signed Hubby and I up for a Fireproof Sunday school class. It starts this week and I am excited. I know of two other couples that are going to be in it and I am hoping that Hubby will make some connections with the men in the group. I know that he does well on his own, but I also know that he needs friends. Other men to hang out with and just be "men". We already have the devotional books, so it shouldn't be too much trouble. I have done the first 20 days, they were easy for me as it meant putting Hubby before all others. The last 20 days were a challenge and I must admit that I haven't finished the dare. I want to it just seems harder for me to do for myself then it does for me to do for others. It has been about 5 years since I put myself first with anything. So I will give it a go again and this time I will succeed. I want to.
Goosie starts kindergarten next year, her last day of Preschool is next month and I know that she is already not looking forward to it. She loves school and thrives in the environment. I used to love school too. I could have done without some of the other kids who picked on me allot, but other then that I looked forward to the first day of school like it was my birthday. I always wanted to make a good impression on my teachers and would go through my entire closet looking for just the right outfit to wear. I wouldn't consider myself a teachers pet by any stretch. But I did enjoy school. Miniman wants to go and I am trying to use his desire to go to school as umph to get him to potty train. So far it's not really working, but we have the summer to really work on it. I want him potty trained by the fall so he can go to school. I think he will really enjoy it.
Well enough from me for now. I need to check on Goosie (she's in the bathroom), Bubbles (she finally gave up on nursing herself to sleep and is in the exercauser) and Miniman ( I think he has made another colossal mess in my living room). Make dinner and hopefully have the house picked up enough that Hubby doesn't feel overwhelmed when he comes through the door. Farewell for now dear readers and Blessings on each of you until next time.

Headaches and Happenings

Yesterday I had a headache, it started about 11am and it didn't want to stop. I tried relaxing it away, but to no avail. Hubby got home at about 6p, the headache was worse then ever. I asked him to take me to Emergency. After two needle pokes in the backside, and almost 12 hours of sleep, I am starting to feel like myself again. I have been getting headaches more often then I would like. The headaches are no fun! I get dizzy, nauseated, light and sound are both a problem and I just want to curl up in a dark dark room and sleep. Hubby was great, he dropped the kids off at my friend H's house, and after snuggling me in the bed long enough for me to fall asleep, he picked them up and took care of them the rest of the night.
I don't like being sick or having a headache, it seems my whole family suffers. Hubby puts so much in at work and I really like him to relax as much as possible when he comes home. Yesterday was just a crazy day. I went to see the plastic surgeon on Friday of last week, now to make sure they get all the paper trail for the insurance. I want so badly for this to be approved. Well, the kids and laundry are calling for me. I will type more later!

Sitting on the Back Porch

It is a beautiful day out today, the sun is shining ever so brightly and I could not keep the kids indoors a moment longer. All the windows are open to allow the house to air out (the ones on the mommy mobile are even open). Goosie and Miniman are adding to my collection of dandelions. Bubbles is crawling around on the porch just happy to be out in the sunshine. I had forgotten how wonderful the sun felt. The winters here can be long and it is oh so nice to sit and listen to the birds.
I had a Dr's appointment today. I am hoping to get a breast reduction with in the year. The first stages of this were completed years ago and now for the final stages. The soonest I could go in for surgery is July and the latest would be around Halloween. I am looking forward to the surgery. A great weight will be lifted off my chest and I will be the same size all over! I am excited. I was talking to my sister G (she had the other type of boob job), I told her how positive I feel about this and how I would love to get it done tomorrow, but I have to wait. Now comes the hard part before the surgery and that is weaning Bubbles. She doesn't want to give up her nurses, but I am afraid she will have too. I know that there are mom's out there who would argue that I have waited this long, so why not wait a little longer. The answer to this is simple. For four years I have put my babies first and I am proud of my woman's body, but now I need to take care of it. I need to take care of me. I need to exercises, and set a good example for my children, show them what a healthy lifestyle is in action not just words. I want to run again, I want to play with my children and be comfortable in my own skin. I want to feel sexy and attractive. Not that I don't feel that way now, but I know that after the surgery I will feel even more so!
I enjoy the spring, it is such a breath of fresh air.. now to get my hands dirty!!

The Headache is gone!

I have had a headache for three days.. I decided to rub some of Hubby's BioFreeze on it and after two applications my headache is gone! It was a tension headache and although I plan on keeping my appointment with the Dr in the morning I plan on discussing more then just my head as my feet have also been a concern lately (I have bone spurs).
I went to a MOPS meeting tonight and really enjoyed myself. I taught a few women how to crochet. It felt really good to pour some of myself into other people. Although I must admit that since I am a more hands on learner, I have discovered that I am a very hands on teacher and for some this is not a good thing.
Hubby was able to get the oldest two of our little ones to sleep as I had Bubbles with me tonight. It is nice to just have one to keep up with at times. I missed seeing my friend H, I usually see her at MOPS but she wasn't there tonight. I plan on calling her tomorrow to see how she is doing I know she is going through Florida withdrawals.
While at MOPS I met another mom and she is in need of childcare throughout the summer from about 7a-3p as she has a mail route she works and her hubby works nights. I let her know that I am interested and that if she would like to stop by the house to get a "feel" for things before she commits, that she is more then welcome.
I have noticed with my parents that since they no longer have all of us in the house, it seems they have more time to be who they wanted to be with us when we were growing up. My parents volunteer at a church camp for youth over the summer and I must admit that I am a little green knowing that those youth are receiving a side of my parents I didn't usually see. All of this in mind. I partly admit that when other people are around I am more of the parent I think I should be. I have more patience, I don't raise my voice and when I do need to discipline I do it with more thought then emotion. So I am thinking that a good way for my children to experience all of me now is to have other children around. I am looking forward to the challenge. They are a family of three girls and I know that Goosie will just be too excited to have girlfriends over to play! What can I say I feel the most peace in the midst of chaos. I like to think of my life as being in the eye of a hurricane. It's the eye of the hurricane that is the most peaceful. Although everything around you is chaos, you can find peace. I know that my relationship with God is my peace in the midst of any storm.
Well, my dear readers it is not too late and the kids are all asleep. I think I am going to try to curl up with my Hubby and enjoy the warmth of his embrace for a while. Good night all and until next entry.. Blessings on you and yours (and pleasant weather too).

Maybe I can rest..

It is day two of a headache I could really do without. It isn't a migraine, but it is almost as incapacitating. I don't want to do anything. I am cranky and my kids are wonderful. For as long as I remember when my stomach is on a roller coaster all it's own soaking in a nice lobster red hot bath seems to help me feel better (at least until I have to get out). This headache and accompanied roller coaster has warranted two of these soaks yesterday and another one today.
Goosie and Miniman showed much concern as they told me that the water was too hot and that I shouldn't lay down in it because it might cover my nose. Then when I was about to get out they started pouring water on my back... it helped release the tension and I almost cried.
Hubby is at work and although I was assured by his superior that he would be off of work at 5p from now on.. alas Hubby will be there until later because said superior decided to get in the way of Hubby's work. It would be nice for Hubby to be here when I need him, but I understand that recruiting needs him more (it's been like this for 7 years).
There are times that I need him too. So there is my vent... I need to get the little ones something to eat.. then maybe when Hubby gets home I can rest..

A Onederfilled Birthday

It was Bubbles birthday on Saturday. She is a year old and working on her second year. Bubbles is getting quite big, and I know that she is only getting bigger! My cousin J and his wife were able to come to visit and celebrate with us, I decided to make cupcakes instead of a regular cake. It was a big hit! I think it looks really cute. Bubbles party was spring themed. There were peeps, cupcakes, an egg shaped pinata, an egg hunt and the kids had a blast!






This is my Bubbles! She fit almost perfectly in the busted pinata! I think she is the most wonderful thing in an egg! The pinata was really solid. Hubby ended up breaking it open with one of his walking canes (it has a secret sword inside). The boy's that were here thought it was the coolest thing ever! Of course Hubby is a kid in a man's body anyway! I really appreciate that about him. I love the fact that he is such a wonderful playmate for the kids. It almost takes the pressure off of me.
This is Bubbles when she was brand new. I am sad to know that she is the last baby that will be in our house until out children grow up and have children of their own. I will miss being pregnant, nursing a baby from my breast and holding a small person in my arms knowing that there is no one on earth that can care for them the way I can. I mourn the passing of babyhood in my house and usher in the last toddler hood I will see for a few years also. My sweet little ones. I will miss their tiny hands, soft feet and the wonderfulness of their unashamed love for me. I know that Hubby feels the same way.
Here is my beautiful family. I know that I would not be able to survive without even one of them. They are my everything and I would do anything for any of them. My sweet girls, the hearts they will break, the brokenness their hearts will one day feel. My wonderful boy, I know that he is full of mischief and all things that are boy. My beyond wonderful Hubby, he is by far the best person to enter my life. I would be lost without him and I know that he would be lost without me as well. My family will grow and change, I will grow and change with them. I will rejoice with every triumph and mourn with passing griefs. I will stand when they need me to stand and bend without breaking when I am called to. I will miss them when they leave my home to make their own. Well my dear readers. I hope that you have enjoyed my reminisce. I will write more again when the mood strikes, until then, be blessed and count your blessings.. who knows if you are tired you may fall asleep counting them, for if you really count your blessings you may find they are as countless as the stars!

Bragging On Hubby

This is one of my favorite pictures of Hubby and I. I appreciate the smile that is rarely seen on his wonderful face. We have been together for 7 years now. And my life couldn't be sweeter. We have three beautiful children and our relationship continues to thrive. Sure there have been times when things weren't going so well, but they have only made me all the more thankful for the "easy patches".
Right now Miniman is sick and I am once again reminded how wonderful Hubby is. Throughout babyhood of our children Hubby has been the one to stay up with a sick baby (or little one), he has been the one to nurse and "mother" our children. Not for a lack of wanting on my part, he just seems to enjoy being there for them. I partly think it is because he works and misses out on so much that he is willing and almost waiting it seems to care for our children.
When I met Hubby he was the quintessential bachelor. He was all about the game and pretty darn good playing it too. Now he is the most devoted Husband and Father I could ever imagine. When I look at the picture to the left I think of him protecting, nurturing and supporting me. All while I don't seem to notice. He is the wind beneath my wings. With his support and love I know anything is possible. I am blessed.
There are times I don't feel worthy of him, and that just makes his love for me all the more wonderful. Last night like other nights in the past Hubby took the sick one to the ER so I could sleep and be ready to take care of all of the children in the morning. His thoughtfulness is severe and so wonderful. Even now with Bubbles he wants to soothe her to sleep (it helps me wean her), even though she cries and at times screams for me, he is stoic and loves her through her discontent. I dreamed of finding a man like him when I was younger but never imagined it would ever happen. I hope he knows how much I love and appreciate him.
Yesterday he called me and upon answering I was informed that he had good news and bad news. I asked for the bad first because then the good would sound extra good and he says " the bad news is that you have to put up with me more, the bad news is that I was just informed that I will be able to go home at 5p provided I have all my work done". Now if you knew us you would know that I was still waiting for the bad news as this is all good news to me. I am not one of those women who gets tired of her husband and can't wait for him to return to work. On the contrary, I hate it when he has to go to work and would love for him to stay home with me all day. I can't get enough of him.
Well, I think that may be enough bragging on Hubby for today. I will write again soon. My little ones are waking up from naps and it's time to get the afternoon started. Hubby said he would be home by 6p and I want to have dinner waiting for him.
Until next entry..find your happiness, because no one will find it for you!

Happenings

So after my rant I am still getting concerned phone calls. I feel so very blessed. There are times when I feel alone and I know that all I will need to do is remind myself that I am never alone. Barlow Girl has a great song about that topic.
I was talking to my sister S today and she is able to send my nephew G on a backpacking trip across Europe.. I admit I am a little green. But I know that he will learn a lot about himself and the world around him when he goes. What a blessing to be able to give that gift to your child!
Over all everyone here is feeling better. I am just worn out a bit. There is still so much to do. I was talking to my other sister C and she told me that she could hear in my voice how weary I am . I admit that running the house and taking care of everyone can take it out of you.
I was thinking about my new friend W today. Her Hubby is still in the hospital, but is recovering. I am so thankful for his improved health. I can only imagine the relief they are both feeling with each test that comes back with good results!
Goosie is on Spring Break from school this week. She has been telling everyone that she is going to Disney.. all I can think is that she will soon and so will I. Hubby has promised to take me there. He wanted to go this summer, but I don't want to because I want all the kids to remember going to Disney, not just Goosie. Miniman is recovering. He is no longer whining or clingy, so that helps me a lot. He is also the only one sleeping through the night in his big kid bed.. now if Goosie would only follow suit. Bubbles will be one on Saturday. We are having an Spring themed party. There is a pinata, an egg hunt, and sugar cookies... I am thinking of making cupcakes instead of a big cake.. maybe I will do both.. we will have to see! Bubbles is just getting to big too fast. Well, I have got to get off the computer.. the kids are making it known that I have been on for too long!Until next time dear readers... stay safe!

I am Okay, I think..

Today has been a different day of sorts. I don't feel so much that I am the worst mom ever, I am actually having a positive day. I found a dress for Easter and hope that it comes arrives in time for me to wear it.
Today has had it's good points and I am happy to admit that I haven't blown my top! Yay for me!!! Miniman even flushed an entire roll of TP, thus flooding the bathroom and I didn't even raise my voice! All I could think was that I should have added bleach and cleaned as I mopped up the water... maybe I should flood it again just so I can.. okay maybe not. Bubbles has made a glorious mess of dinner I am sure she ingested something I am just not sure how much. One thing is certain she needs a bath. When I started cleaning up the water mess Goosie came in with her rain boots on and asked if she could help. She said " I have my boots on Mommy can I help" It was sweet. I know when I was having my melt down yesterday she was looking at me with pity and just wanted to help. What a wonderful little girl she is!
Miniman is feeling better, I am thankful that there is medicine for a double ear infection.
Bubbles is as curios as ever and is such a joy!
Goosie I fear is growing up too fast. I looked at her the other day and told her to slow down. She then informed me that she can't and that one day she will be a Mommy just like me. For her school drawing of what she wanted to be when she grows up was a Mommy. I am thankful that she looks up to me so much.
Well, the kids are calling and so are the dishes.. until next time and if you were concerned about me from my last entry, no worries I am as level headed as I can be right now!

Venting and needing space..

Miniman is still sick, I took him to the Dr this morning only to find that he has another double ear infection. So he is clingy, whiny and all around miserable. I finally got him down for a nap and he still woke up cranky! Goosie has been complaining of a headache and tummy ache since yesterday. I had her lay down for a nap and am afraid I will have to wake her up momentarily. Bubbles is exhausted. I have started to wean her and she doesn't like it one bit. In the year of blissfully breastfeeding that she has had, I don't think she wants it to end. Hubby is once again stuck at work. There is not much he can do to get home early. There have been many times over the past week or two that I have felt extremely overwhelmed.
I love my babies but they have been draining lately. I am not sure I am able to handle all of this. There is the house to clean, the laundry to keep up with, bills to pay and three little ones that I feel inept to be called their Mom.
I don't want to call any of my friends and drag them into my insanity, and I am not sure I can keep it together much longer. One is sick, I am getting sick and it is no wonder I am ready to leave. I just want to go somewhere they aren't. I love them. But I don't know if I can handle this.
I have to go, if I can I will write more later.