There it is.. the word that encompasses so much when it comes to parenting. I can ask myself almost a thousand times a day. "Am I doing it right?" "I am not ruining them forever, am I?" " Is this decision for me or for them?". As a parent so many things that we think will send our little ones into a traumatic tail spin... hardly show on their map.
This all started when Hubby and I decided to home-school our two oldest children. Everything was going well, then things changed. Financially things weren't working out for us the way we had planned. My work was becoming the main supply for our family, and things weren't panning out for Hubby's employment as hard as he was trying (and he has tried very very hard) . As much as he and I wanted homeschooling to be a dual weight, it became more and more one of my own. With the forty hour work week, plus the demands of homeschooling.. I didn't get to enjoy my children. I didn't get to enjoy my spouse. All I can remember is a blur of work. If it wasn't happening on the job, I was working hard at home.
Recently, Hubby's therapist recommended he attend outpatient day therapy. I also recently accepted a different position at the hotel, during the day. This throws the home-schooling situation into a quandary. So we continue to home-school at the risk of our childrens education, or do we re-enroll them in school? I believe Hubby and I made the most responsible decision we could make.. not for us,(because I would try to continue to home-school with a 40+ hour work week) but for our children. It wasn't a feel good decision either. My feelings about this ran the gambit. From my feeling like a failure, to thinking the kids would be forever damaged by this decision, to final acceptance.
It has been three days of Miniman and Goosie back in the school system. At the time of this post only one of my sister's know of our decision. My sister C. C has been a rock in all of this for me. She has encouraged me beyond what I could ever describe. When I told her of our decision she stated that she was proud of me. That she knew I had too much on my plate and that this decision aleaveated some of that. I admit that I fear the judgement I know will come from some members of my family. There is nothing that can be done for that. Tears have already been shed (on my part alone). The children shrieked with excitement and have jumped into their new routine with gusto. I am now home most nights in time for dinner and Hubby is adjusting well also.
Changes are coming to our house. The school room is no more. Books are being packed away and while part of my heart aches for what was and is now no longer. The other part soars with the knowledge that my little lovies are as resilient as they are strong. They see the glass as half full instead of half empty. Goosie claims she is the most popular girl in her class and Miniman tells me that he is breezing through his class work with time to spare. Bubbles is excited as well. In the mornings Hubby and I are able to steal a few moments when the kids are off to school and I have yet to leave for work. It's just enough time for breakfast and a chance to reconnect. Then it is off on our separate schedules until dinner. Bento boxes are back on for lunch and so far the children are adjusting well. We are blessed, things can be tough at times and the light at the end of the tunnel can seem beyond reach.. but God is good. Until next time dear readers.. be blessed!
Sunday, April 6, 2014
Monday, January 20, 2014
Advice to others
I work with a young man (L), L is mature for his age and is a rarity these days. L's mom works with us as well, and a friendship has developed between the three of us. So on the nights that L and I are working together I have started giving him a ride home so that his mom can rest. During our shifts L and I have the conversations I hope to have with Miniman one day.
Our banter ranges from the deep to the mundane. L and I have talked about the cars and about relationships. I do not offer advice lightly and do consider what I am saying before I say it. Here are a few of the subjects we have covered:
Dating:
If a girl says she loves you, but is not in love with you. It means that she has put all that she can into the relationship and is not willing to give more. It is time to cut things off, especially if you are still investing in the relationship. Better to cut ties while you are still on amiable terms, then to wait and allow bitterness and resentment to fester. When you find someone who is willing and able to invest in the relationship as much as you are, try again.
Marriage:
A man is not above a woman or vice verso. When God created man and woman he created them as opposite equals. We were created as helpmates. Look at your hands, a perfect example of helpmates. Your right and left are basically the same, they are mirror images of each other. When you are driving you need both hands on the wheel for optimal control of the vehicle. When you are typing on a computer, they both work equally to your desired end. If you have a dominate hand, admittedly it gets more use then the other less dominate. But there are many things it cannot do with out the other. At times one hand is injured or occupied, so the other hand takes up the slack. So it is in a marriage. Instead of thinking of husband as wife as head and neck (a popular thought in the south). Think of them as hands, working together towards the same end.
Respect:
When someone demands respect and is not as willing to give it, the scales do tip quite a bit. If a man wants respect from his wife, he needs to love her. A woman needs reminders of love; a whispered word, a quick text, the thoughtfulness of something being done without a prompt or query. Yes, dong the dishes is very attractive in a man, as is folding the laundry or taking out the garbage. A man who is willing to do even just these three things is a desirable catch. However, if a man does these things and there is no respect given, it is better for him to move on and find someone who appreciates him then to stay in a relationship where he is always the giver and not the receiver.
On Friendships and People Skills:
If you treat everyone as your equal no matter what their race or creed, you will be a person whom others respect. Show grace in every bad situation you encounter; because you never know what another person is going through, or when you may need grace shown to you. Friendships at times are with you for either many seasons of your life or very few. When you are honest with yourself and the assessment of your relationships, you can plainly see when a season is over or not.
When you take time to construct your thoughts and use proper grammar; you will make a lasting impression on others. When you take care in your speech and the way you carry yourself; it wont matter if your clothes are second hand or of the finest make, you will be looked upon with favor more than not.
Vehicles:
Always buy a certified used. Once you sign on the dotted line for a new vehicle, it starts to loose value. By the time you drive it off the lot, it's value has decreased by 50% if not more. Also when you can, pay as much as you can for the down payment. This will mean less will be financed and therefore the payments easier to make. Make your payments on time every time. Buying a car is sometimes the first major way people start to build their credit.
Credit Cards:
These are not golden tickets. They cannot get you anything and everything you may want either real or imagined. If you have a credit limit of $300.00 at any given time don't spend more than 10% of it. If you are really in a pinch, don't go over the 50% mark. So that means you should never spend the whole amount. If that happens and you are only making the minimum payments, you will be paying for that Value meal for at least a year if not more depending on how much you allowed yourself to get into debt. In my humble opinion "credit cards" are really "debt cards". But in the current market, if your debt/credit ratio isn't favorable you are not going to get very far anyway.
Of course there is much much more, but there are other things calling my attention today, so I will write again when I have another chance. Until next time dear readers, Be Blessed!
Our banter ranges from the deep to the mundane. L and I have talked about the cars and about relationships. I do not offer advice lightly and do consider what I am saying before I say it. Here are a few of the subjects we have covered:
Dating:
If a girl says she loves you, but is not in love with you. It means that she has put all that she can into the relationship and is not willing to give more. It is time to cut things off, especially if you are still investing in the relationship. Better to cut ties while you are still on amiable terms, then to wait and allow bitterness and resentment to fester. When you find someone who is willing and able to invest in the relationship as much as you are, try again.
Marriage:
A man is not above a woman or vice verso. When God created man and woman he created them as opposite equals. We were created as helpmates. Look at your hands, a perfect example of helpmates. Your right and left are basically the same, they are mirror images of each other. When you are driving you need both hands on the wheel for optimal control of the vehicle. When you are typing on a computer, they both work equally to your desired end. If you have a dominate hand, admittedly it gets more use then the other less dominate. But there are many things it cannot do with out the other. At times one hand is injured or occupied, so the other hand takes up the slack. So it is in a marriage. Instead of thinking of husband as wife as head and neck (a popular thought in the south). Think of them as hands, working together towards the same end.
Respect:
When someone demands respect and is not as willing to give it, the scales do tip quite a bit. If a man wants respect from his wife, he needs to love her. A woman needs reminders of love; a whispered word, a quick text, the thoughtfulness of something being done without a prompt or query. Yes, dong the dishes is very attractive in a man, as is folding the laundry or taking out the garbage. A man who is willing to do even just these three things is a desirable catch. However, if a man does these things and there is no respect given, it is better for him to move on and find someone who appreciates him then to stay in a relationship where he is always the giver and not the receiver.
On Friendships and People Skills:
If you treat everyone as your equal no matter what their race or creed, you will be a person whom others respect. Show grace in every bad situation you encounter; because you never know what another person is going through, or when you may need grace shown to you. Friendships at times are with you for either many seasons of your life or very few. When you are honest with yourself and the assessment of your relationships, you can plainly see when a season is over or not.
When you take time to construct your thoughts and use proper grammar; you will make a lasting impression on others. When you take care in your speech and the way you carry yourself; it wont matter if your clothes are second hand or of the finest make, you will be looked upon with favor more than not.
Vehicles:
Always buy a certified used. Once you sign on the dotted line for a new vehicle, it starts to loose value. By the time you drive it off the lot, it's value has decreased by 50% if not more. Also when you can, pay as much as you can for the down payment. This will mean less will be financed and therefore the payments easier to make. Make your payments on time every time. Buying a car is sometimes the first major way people start to build their credit.
Credit Cards:
These are not golden tickets. They cannot get you anything and everything you may want either real or imagined. If you have a credit limit of $300.00 at any given time don't spend more than 10% of it. If you are really in a pinch, don't go over the 50% mark. So that means you should never spend the whole amount. If that happens and you are only making the minimum payments, you will be paying for that Value meal for at least a year if not more depending on how much you allowed yourself to get into debt. In my humble opinion "credit cards" are really "debt cards". But in the current market, if your debt/credit ratio isn't favorable you are not going to get very far anyway.
Of course there is much much more, but there are other things calling my attention today, so I will write again when I have another chance. Until next time dear readers, Be Blessed!
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