Wake Me Up Inside..

I have heard this song many times on the radio, in video's paying tribute to our men and women in the armed forces, and in movies. When I heard it on the radio I thought.. hmm cool song. When I heard it in the different tribute video's I cried, thinking of all our military members who are giving so much so others can have more. When I heard it in movie's I thought.. interesting take on it. This morning I heard it again. And by the end of it I was broken.  There we were sitting in our usual places, the song leaders for the youth service had graced us with their presence and as a whole, I don't think anyone was left wanting. In the youth service it is more of a jam session then the contemporary/traditional songs we adults usually sing. I have thoroughly enjoyed it in the past when the youth leaders are up. All of this aside; I once again felt humbled, challenged and encouraged all before my Bible was opened.
You see the song leader was speaking to us as a congregation but I knew that I had just shown up at a divine appointment. He spoke about how easy it is for us as a culture to put on a happy face, try to let every one think that everything is A-OK in our little corner of existence. When the truth of the matter is that we all struggle; we all have pain; we all need someone to not only encourage us, but to be an encouragement to. Some of the words to the song were changed, and therefore the meaning as a whole was changed. Instead of the song above asking some one to give them a wake-up call,it changed to us not only as sinners saved by grace but also to those who have yet to accept that grace asking our Abba Father to wake us up. Not only to to people we should be, but to the relationship we should have with him. There are so many things each of us deal with on a daily minutely basis that we allow ourselves to become sleepy and dull. Wafting through our day to day activities just trying to get by without really processing any of it. Because it is too much to handle at the time, stress levels are at a high, or sanity is making it's mad escape.
What if we slowed things down? What if we really looked at people, beyond the surface and saw the load they were weighted under? Would we as believer's in Christ actually be Christ like? Would we be able to look beyond the sin and see the need? It is a challenge, one that I admit I fall short of. When I do fall short I am so thankful that His grace is sufficient, He is jealous for me and loves me so greatly I cannot begin to fathom it.
So here is the thought I leave you with dear readers. If you let the mask fall and allowed God to work through your needs, would not your testimony be all the more beautiful? He is there waiting for you to allow Him into all the secret places. God is the kindest gentleman and will never force himself on anyone, but if you will open your heart to him. Even those places that are buried so deep you can barely remember them.. I can promise better yet I can guarantee that His feel better kisses are the absolute best. There is no hurt he can't heal, there is no trial he can't help you through. His love is all encompassing, there is no relationship you could have that He could not fulfill. Do I love Him? Severely. Could I ever love Him as much as He loves me? Never.. because he loved me before I was even a twinkle in my parents eye. Before I was even born, He took my sin's that he knew I would commit on Himself, and died a sacrificial death of offering so that the relational gap that was created when sin entered the world would be mended. So that I and anyone else who chooses to accept Jesus Christ as their savior could have a relationship with our creator.  Be Blessed dear readers, be blessed.

They are Two for a reason.. but could someone let me in on it??

My Bubbles is adorable, if I do say so myself. The problem is.. she knows it! The past few weeks she has been showing just how "adorable" she really is. .

I took this picture with my phone yesterday. Yesterday I got the wild hair to clean and de-clutter my bedroom. That got done. Bubbles got into the all-purpose flour while I was folding some towels and putting them away. Bubbles rattles my nerves, invades what little space I have at times, and will screech at any given moment (whether or not she was provoked). Bubbles has also become the pro-pouter in the house. If I ever thought of giving out an award for the best pouty face.. she would get it, and all the crocodile tears that come with it.

Bubbles also has a very catchy laugh. Her smile is addictive and her eyes light up my days even when they seem so dim. As her vocabulary grows, so does the sass. I try to nip that in the bud as much as I can, however.. this can be a challenge all it's own. I have seen her walk around the house with her hands planted firmly on her little hips, ready to give the first one she see's a good talking too. She provokes both Goosie and Miniman to the extreme's of their behavior and my sanity. That being said.. they do it to her too. I think it is just part of being siblings. Bubbles is also quite the monkey. I think she may be a gymnast when she gets older. With all the climbing, tumbling, standing on her head, balancing in precarious places that I must admit make my heart leap into my throat.
 

 Bubbles has the sweetest voice. When she sings it makes my heart smile. When she admits wrong-doing and apologizes, I think things will settle down for a bit. But there are times, she tests me. I partly think it is on purpose, and then I realize she is two.

At two for most little ones the world as you know it is your oyster or if you prefer bowl of cherries. There is much to explore and invade. Your imagination is taking root and slowly dragging you along. The wonderment of being a two year old. Seeing the world full of possibility and promise. To so many this age is out grown before they reach three. I hope that mine will hold on to it as long as possible. So here's to you Bubbles. I believe I nick-named you correctly. You are so full of bubbly life that it overflows and seeps into those around you, who at times have forgotten what it's all about.

Well at least she knew where to put the mascara! There is never a dull day in the house with my three little ones. They are all growing and changing so much. I just pray that I can continue to keep up with them! Until next time dear readers.. I hope your day is Bubbly!

Make your life a joyful one...

God loves the lullaby in a mothers tear's in the dead of night, 

better than a hallelujah sometimes.

God loves the drunkards cry, the soldiers plea not to let him die,

 better than a hallelujah sometimes.*

(*)We pour out our miseries God just hears a melody

beautiful mess we are, the honest cries of breaking hearts

are better than a hallelujah

The woman holding on for life, the dieing man giving up the fight
are better than a hallelujah sometimes.
Tears of shame for what's been done, the silence when the words
won't come are better than a hallelujah sometimes*


Better than a church bell ringing, better than a choir singing out, singing out*

Amy Grant sings this song and I must admit that the first time I heard it I was driving. I had to pull over, I was so overcome with emotion. I can connect with almost all of the lines in the song. You could say she was singing my testimony. So I will share it with you.. line by wonderful line.

God loves the lullaby in a mother's tears in the dead of night.~  I have suffered from postpartum depression and remember holding my children many times (even now) asking God to help me.

God loves the drunkards cry, the soldiers plea not to let him die~ There was a time I was looking for love in all the wrong places. While I don't think I got entirely drunk, I did my share of drinking. ~ I have been praying for Hubby since almost the day he joined the ARMY. I didn't know him, I just knew I wanted to pray for him. Since Hubby and I have been together he and I have both come to a better relationship with the Lord.

The woman holding on for life, the dieing man giving up the fight~ At the age of 12 I suffered a severe migraine headache. The right side of my brain swelled to 1/2 it's normal size, my left lung collapsed. The doctors gave me less then a 10% chance of living through the night. The best outcome they had for me was a vegitiative state with no chance at a normal life. ~ Just recently my Gampa passed away. I am now one of the many walking around with no surviving grandparents. 

Tears of shame for what's been done, the silence when the words won't come~ There have been things over the years I have been ashamed of. Weather it was my actions, words or any other number of things. But it was the conviction within me that caused me shame. ~ And yes, believe it or not there are times when the words can't be found. When I am left feeling so blessed or so broken that words would not begin to describe any of it. The only thing in those moments that escapes me is " Lord." 

Better than a church bell ringing, better than a choir singing out~ While I have never so much as even played the bells in church, I do appreciate their solemn joyful sound. ~ I do enjoy singing if it's in the choir or by myself. I enjoy singing and lifting my voice to my Heavenly Father, sometimes it doesn't sound that wonderful to anyone else I am sure, but he said to make a joyful noise.. it doesn't have to be in key.

So there it is. My overwhelming emotion with this beautiful terrible song. Beautiful because it can speak to so many people in so many different ways, terrible because it can cut you to the quick in the simplest and nicest of ways all the while giving you the answer to relieve you of your suffering. If you didn't catch it, read the chorus again. 

We pour out our miseries, God just hears a melody. Beautiful mess we are, honest cries of breaking hearts. Are better than a hallelujah.

You see God wants us to turn to him for everything. He doesn't want to be our last resort, he wants to be our first call. He wants to respond to us in our most desperate times, and he will respond in such a way that we will not be left bereft of anything. There is nothing that God can't handle. If you think that there is, you have put him in a box and are the one limiting him. God will never limit you. He will never leave you, he will never have anything but the best for you. There will be times you will go through what seems like the midst of fire, but it will be worth it. God has a master plan for each of our lives, the only thing he asks of us is the hardest thing for us as human's to do.. let it go.  When you do let it go, it is better than a hallelujah, so make your life one of rejoicing.

Chocolate Banana Chip Pistachio Cookies

So there are times when I want to make cookies and don't always have all the stuff I need to make the cookies.. so I substitute. Thus a new cookie in my house is born.  I had the idea to make Neman Marcus cookies, but upon searching my pantry discovered what I had forgotten. We ate almost all the oatmeal the other day for breakfast we were out of nuts ( unless you count my sanity and the pistachio's) and Bubbles had a baking powder party all by herself last week. Just so you know when the kids have a party with something it usually means they have made a complete and utter mess with it, so much so that even after sweeping/vacuuming/mopping I still find things weeks later. I still wanted these cookies. I still craved these cookies.. desire is the mother of invention.. that and a creative mind. So the cookies I ended up with are to the left.. and yes, they are wonderful! Chocolate Banana Chip Pistachio Cookies... and here my dearest readers is the recipe. It will make 56 cookies..like I stated before I wanted the Neman Marcus Cookies!

Chocolate Banana Chip Pistachio Cookies

• preheat oven to 375* F
• 1c butter at room temperature
• 2 c all purpose flour
• 1 c sugar
• 2.5 c whole wheat flour
• 1c brown sugar
• 3 large eggs
• 1.5 cups shelled pistachio's
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 12oz bag banana chips crushed into small pieces
• 12 oz each semi-sweet chocolate chips and chunks
• 1 tsp vanilla

blend all the above together (you will need some sort of power mixer). form into rounded balls  (about a tablespoons worth or what feels right in the palm of your hand) and bake for 9-11 minutes. If you like the softer cookies 9 minutes, the crunchy cookies 11 minutes. Or you can just take them out when they are nicely browned on top. Enjoy!! And remember just because you may not have everything you need in your pantry to make something doesn't mean you can't make what you want!

School, Church, and Passing On

School is back in session for Goosie. She has been counting down the days for weeks! Miniman keeps asking when he will go, and Bubbles is having fun playing with all the toys in the house she can get her hands on. Hubby is off to work before Goosie is one the bus, and for the most part ( at least yesterday and today) my plans are to clean the house to an acceptable level so that it stays basically clean. Sure in the summer there is a basic level of clean, but it is lower then the level of clean during the school year. My friend HW and I were discussing this the other day. During the school year there is structure and a higher level of clean all around. The kids for the most part are so mentally exhausted by the time they get home it's not hard to settle down for the night. During the summer it's different. For the most part ( in her house and mine) there isn't any structure and the kids are all about fun and mayhem.  Isn't that what summer is supposed to be about?? Budgeting gets a little tighter in the summer and stress levels run a bit higher. But it's fun to have the kids home.. at least until you grow weary of it!
   Hubby and I are going to be staying here longer then we thought. There was an opportunity to go to PA with his job, but he has decided to retire at the twenty year mark, instead of the twenty four year mark.  So we will likely be here on the hill for another few years, or until the owners return, whichever comes first. I must admit that it will be nice not to move every eighteen to twenty two months! It gets tiring, to have to dig in to each new place and adjust the whole family is becoming more challenging. It will be nice to just stay a while. That being said we have decided to become members of our local church. We have been attending for two years and have plugged  in to the various ways to serve there. It is refreshing. Membership is a big deal to me. I don't really feel that there is an expressent need to be a member of a church so long as you are a member of the body of Christ. In the two years we have been attending there has never been any pressure to become a member. And that in it's self is refreshing. I must also admit that it has been a blessing to me to be encouraged by so many in the church. Everywhere we have lived there has been a place we as a family has felt accepted and loved. Out current church home is no different. It is a big step for us, and one I am happy to take along with Hubby.
The current drive-in season is quickly coming to a close. I will once again be looking for part time evening work. To get me out of the house and to help a little. It is nice to get out there and get to know others outside of the white picket fence. A new set of neighbors have moved in next door. Honestly two have, but we have more in common with one set then we do the others. I finally was able to meet them at the bus stop yesterday morning. As first impressions go, they give a nice one and I am looking forward to the friendship that will hopefully bloom.
Nine years ago yesterday my Gamma, went to a place of no suffering or pain. Sunday night Gampa joined her. I can't begin to imagine how my Mom, Aunts and Uncles are feeling right now. Gampa will be traveling back to Gamma's resting place and there will be buried next to her. I am now one of the many who have no surviving grandparents. I am thankful I was able to meet mine. Gamma taught me to watercolor paint, and when I feel the need to do more then just stand up for myself.. I have a feeling that is Gampa.  When those we love cross over I don't believe they are ever really gone. They are just a thought away, you can close your eyes and they are right there. My heavenly Father is like that in many ways. He is only one prayer away.. mostly he is closer.. only a thought.
Well dear reader's I have a mountain of housework to get done today and I hope you are all blessed, until next time.

Happenings and Happenstance

Things haven't changed much over the summer. I had thought we would be moving before the school year started up, but it looks like if we do move it will be after the school year starts. The back to school supply shopping has been done and the kids new backpacks are chucked full of things they will need for the coming year. Bubbles wanted a bag too, since she will be going to a "class" she has her own bag! Of course I think she will be rolling the wheels off of it in no time! Goosie is ready for school to start, well that is not true, she is past ready for school to start. Excited to meet her new teacher, friends (hopefully some from kindergarten), and learn, learn, learn! The only problem I can see so far is that she gets frustrated very easily when things don't work out the way she thinks they should. She is a bright little button and I am sure will do very well in first grade. Wait, did I just say FIRST GRADE!! Oh, my how time does fly! Miniman will be starting his K-4 class. It meets three days a week and he is also very excited. New book bag (just for a take home folder) is all ready hanging on the outside of his bedroom door (he has already used it a few times to tote around his race cars). He learned to spell his name last year and I am sure by the end of this year he will be writing it like a pro! Bubbles I don't think really knows what is going on, she just wanted the same stuff big brother and sister had. She is happy all the same, even wanting to sleep with her new book bag!
Hubby and I are doing well. Since the school year is picking up I will be working more and then less at the Drive-in. It stays open I believe through the end of September, so that is helpful. I have been thinking of getting a waitress job or fast food job for the winter. It helps having a little extra coming in during the month. With only working two or three nights a week, it isn't too over stressing.  Hubby has a new job title at work. He is still recruiting, but now instead of finding the people to join he is getting the ones who have already made a commitment ready for boot camp. This is more stressful in some ways and less stressful in others. We still haven't heard anything about a station, except that they still have one for him. We may end up moving in October, I just don't know.
I  started a new course in school. I admit that I have once again been a slacker! Things get hectic over the summer and I should have waited until the school year started up again. Hubby is such an encouragement. He doesn't give up on me with any of this. With everything that goes on at the house he still warns me that I need to take more time to myself or he is going to end up kicking me out of the house for a few hours. I know I concentrate better when I don't have everything I think I need to get done around the house staring me down. We are still trying to go out on our date nights but are finding things a little difficult as our regular sitter, ended up being not so regular anymore. So it is Netflix and popcorn after the kids have gone to bed. I am hoping to start trading off sitter time with other mom's I know so we can all go out on dates with our hubbies!
The drama around the house started a few weeks ago with a leaky bathtub faucet. It peaked early last night in the busting of pipes, to which now are in the process of getting fixed. Note to self: when dealing with plumbing lefty tighty, righty loosy. Now we know. It was just a cartridge for crying out loud!! I picked up the piece we needed a Lowe's and was thinking " no problem, we replaced the one in the master bathroom without any incident". Well, poop goes that idea!
I was talking to my friend HW last week when she received some pretty bad news, she admitted to me later, in a compliment, that as soon as she got the news she wondered what I would do. Honestly I think she fared a heck of a lot better then I would have considering! But I appreciate the compliment and am once again humbled. I never mean my life to be anything more then a stepping stone to others. By which I don't mean that I will allow others to step all over me, no I mean that I hope that they see how I live and choose not to have what I have, but better. I want to be a stepping stone, I fear at times I allow my humanness to get in the way and can be a stumbling stone. I am just so very grateful that I don't have to strive to be perfect, I need only to be willing.
We are planning a family trip this next month. It has been a little while since we have gone south to see my side of the family. So we will be packing up the kids and heading out. I already told the kids and they are super excited! All the sisters, Hubbies (or significant others), and kids will be there. It will be the first time in nine years we have all been together. With half of us marrying military and moving all around, it will be nice that we are all together. My big little family and I are of course the furthest away right now. Everyone is down there except us, and I hear it quite often. No worries though, I know that they miss us as much as we miss them. It will just be great to see everyone! I even have some time set aside for some of my friends from High School. Some I haven't seen since we graduated. So yes, it will be nice to be in my home state for a few days. I say home state because my home is where Hubby is, no where else.
Well it is almost time for stories and pj's so enough for tonight dear readers! Be Blessed!
 

At least I think it is meaningful...

So there have been lotsa thoughts running through my head.. I may have a few moments to let them all out. And here it goes..
I had a thought about the whole 9/11 mosque thing in N.Y. for sometime. Here are my thoughts. I realize of course they will not be agreed upon by all, but they are mine. Galatians 6:1 (paraphrased) if you see someone who has fallen, help them up. But be on guard least you fall yourself.  This is one of my favorite Bible verses, there are many times I must admit that I have followed the first part and not the latter. We are supposed to help each other, however we also need to guard ourselves. What does this have to do with current events? Let me further explain. When the US was founded there were some Christians in the mix, I personally believe that they helped shape the nation into what it was(rather then what it has become). 200 years ago the US took anyone in, it didn't matter nationality or anything ( I still think it should be this way as long as they do it legally). Upon entering the country immigrants came to realize the freedoms they were granted, and took advantage of them (again nothing wrong there). The problem I see is that we as a Nation decided to take in anyone and everyone, give them rights and in a sense not protect ourselves. How far away from the ideals this Nation was founded on (whether Christian or not) have we strayed. It is not strange to think that if you see a car stuck in a ditch and you have a tow-line and 4x4, you are going to help them while making sure your truck is not going to fall in itself ( at least in the south). My question is where was the ball dropped? It doesn't matter which generation did it, what matters now is that we do something about it. Start with morals,add class and then some sense. Really, I know that my brand of common sense isn't common, but there is at least some basis of common sense or it wouldn't be 'common' would it??!  Do I think that the founding fathers had any clue how far and fast this Nation would go? No not really. If they had an inkling they would have set up some sort of safety net to preserve what those of us hold so dear, our freedoms. Yet there would be no freedom with out sacrifice and where someone's rights begin, yours end. There is endless legal jargon that gets in between everything now. The basic Miranda rights have been changed, so that you now must purger yourself to remain silent. Really, Really?? Is this what we as a nation have become? What does that mean for our children?
Judging~ After what happened with our last house guest, I admit I have forgiven them. Some have questioned how I could forgive without them asking or even seeking my forgiveness. It is simple, I do not forgive others for them. I forgive others for me. If I allow even a root of bitterness to take hold I have not guarded my heart. I believe that God is just. He above anyone else knows the condition of the heart, that is why he and he alone is the only one who is able to rightly judge. I am not called to judge (not by any of my own standards), I am only called to love, forgive, defend and serve. Love others despite their sin; forgive others even when they don't ask for it (even if they never ask for it); defend what I believe and the gifts that have been bestowed on me; and serve, serve God and others. It is because of my convictions I am able to forgive. Where grace is needed much can be afforded. Where would I be without God's forgiveness? Am I not supposed to show and give that forgiveness to others? I admit there will be times I mess up, everyone does. When that happens I will once again ask forgiveness and start again.