What I have learned:
There are as many good things in recruiting as there are bad ( I think it is this way with any MOS). Recruiting is hard, very stressful and there are some who crack under the pressure. I really don't know of a "secret to success" in this if you have:
1. A knowing trust 2. Are supportive of each other and 3. Open communication
You will make it and so will your Recruiter spouse. There are so many things some of you are already familiar with doing. Recruiters have long hours and can come home mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. Be understanding, supportive..realize that he gets deployed every morning and comes home every night.
Your kids will stress you out and there will be times you tire of hearing about the job. At the end of the day when your recruiter spouse comes home, wraps thier arms around you and holds you close. I hope that you are reassured that the two of you can get through anything.. even recruiting.
Remember to take time out for yourself. If it is meeting the girls for coffee or going to get your hair done.. make time for yourself. Encourage your spouse to do the same. Don't forget to grow as individuals so that your relationship will thrive.
You may not know the other spouses in his company or station. I would encourage you to try to get to know them. Most are in the same boat you are: away from family and desperatly wanting someone to talk to who will understand. I have made some wonderful life long friends in recruiting, but I wouldn't have met them if I didn't try.
You may not live on post or near one. Don't let that stop you from getting involved. There are many things at your disposal if you just take the time to look. And those days when you don't feel like leaving the house.. make sure you do. You will feel better.
Volunteer, even if you are the only one showing up to help. That is enough at times to get people talking and start something. If you show up the chain of command will see you and if you determine to make a difference.. change will happen.
If there is anything I can help you with please let me know. I don't want any recruiter's spouse to feel like they are alone.. because they never are. I hope to help as many spouses as I can. Recruiting isn't easy.. but the things that are worth it never are easy. I may post rants about long hours, the crap Hubby puts up with on a day in/out basis. When I find helpful links I will post them, so keep an eye out. I hope to equip others to be more independant so that their families can thrive. If there is something I can't find the answer to.. I will at least try to point you in the right direction.
USAREC Spouses Creed
I am a Soldier's spouse.
I am a recruiter's spouse and a member of the team.
I support the Soldier's of the the United States and endorse the Army Values.
I will always place my Soldier and my family first.
I will remain strong in the face of adversity.
I will live the mission being executed.
I will never leave a family member behind.
While my Soldier serves, I fulfill many roles:
I am prepared and I remain flexable; I support and I lead.
I am self-reliant and yet I appreceate assistance. I am resilient.
I give to the community when I can, and remain supportive when I can't.
I work and I stay at home.
On the home front, I am the expert, the professional, so that my Soldier can concentrate on the mission.
I am a teacher of others, and I learn from others.
I am sensitive and I am strong, I listen and I speak for myself and for others.
I stand committed and dedicated to my Soldier.
I am a facilitator of freedom and the American Way of life.
I am a USAREC Spouse.
~ By Wendy W. Burton and Loretta Darosa
